Welcome to the 20’s
Happy New Year and New Decade! There is so much to look forward to. We will have an election and maybe a new president (I will not be political…or try not to be). The Olympics will take place in Japan. Aregato.
It is amazing to recall that 20 years ago we thought we were going enter a complete abyss because of a new century. Spock (Leonard Nimoy) made a public panic service announcement warning us of the dangers when the year 1999 was replaced by the year 2000.
He said all elevators would stop and we would all be stuck in them. There would be no heat. Credit cards would stop working.
This was called Y2K. The world spent $100 billion in dire preparation. That was a lot of money in those days.
Computers were going to explode because they were only programmed to understand the 1900’s. I was calm. I said all we have to do is follow what they did when the 1800’s turned into the 1900’s.
In 1999 there was a rush to buy generators because there would be no electricity. The world would become one big Indiana. Was Pence governor there then? Ooops, no politics.
There were going to be giant floods and locusts. I forgot the reason for those.
Then on Jan. 1, 2020, everyone woke up to electricity and no floods and no locusts. Many people were disappointed when they tried to return their generators and were told no abyss so no refunds.
And now we glide into 2020. What awaits us? The Avengers are terminated but the Terminator will probably show up. There might be an Avenger or two if they still make a profit at the box office.
We lost the sweet, soothing words of Toni Morrison. We will have to depend on the beloved words she left us.
On the personal front I am going back clowning in Ecuador and Mexico. I am going to return to China. Xian to be exact. I am going to stay with the Terracotta Soldiers for one month and learn Mandarin. Actually they may not be the best teachers since they don’t speak. And they might use their weapons on me if I misspeak. So I will find a school.
I might try my hand at substitute teaching. This is something I never thought I would do. I remember how subs were treated in my grammar school and high school. And when I was teaching I saw what the substitutes were put through. But I will have a weapon for the 8 th graders at my old school. I can threaten to tell embarrassing stories of what they were like in preschool.
“Oh yeah, you are acting so tough now. Remember when you wet your pants?”
If that doesn’t work I can tell stories about their parents. Or grandparents.
Many, many years ago I was a sub. They always put me in for the gym teacher. I knew as much about sports then as I do now.
So let’s see what 2020 has to throw at us and we can hit it out of the ball park. I do know some sports terms.